Do you handle the disappointments in your life with faith, ease and grace? Or do they drive you to the fridge or other unwanted places (such as the liquor cabinet or online shopping??!!)
What if the fact that the job of your dreams went to someone else or that you weren’t asked out on a second date or that you ended up attending your high school reunion 20 lbs heavier than you had hoped to, didn’t mean that you failed?
You may think that it’s only logical that you perceive these type of events in your life as proof of your deficiencies, but that is only from the perspective of your small, limited mind.
The chatter between your ears can be negative, judgmental and critical. It’s not trying to hurt you—it’s just thinking in the habitual style that you’ve grown accustomed to. Plus, it wants you to be your best. That voice is the “critical parent.” It believes that if it berates you and scares you enough, it will whip you into shape.
Unfortunately, that never works because what actually happens is that when you listen to that negative voice you begin to cower inside and lose the very confidence that could help you improve your life situation.
Imagine if you could see things in a new way. Well, you absolutely can! The way to do it, though, is to go beyond the limited thinking of the small, conscious mind. That’s not always easy because the thoughts you think in the space between your ears lead to the emotions you feel in your body.
So if you think a scary thought like, “I’m a loser,” without question, the feeling that is likely to pop up in your body, instantaneously, is dread, anxiety or fear. You may not even tie the feeling to the thought that you just had moments ago.
But now the feeling takes on a life of it’s own and actually feeds the thoughts in your head so that they multiply and become stronger. Your energy field becomes consumed in negativity, self-doubt and fear.
Often these painful feelings are compounded by other emotions such as grief over how difficult it is to live in such a hostile environment or feeling ashamed of your inner turmoil. In fact, you may spend a lot of energy trying to hide these inner states from others for fear of being isolated or rejected, if they knew “what you are really like.”
But here’s the good news—this is not what you are “really like.” The negativity that may be moving through you at any given time is simply an energy. It’s not who you are. These dark or challenging energies affect the whole planet and every human being on the planet.
The catch is that it doesn’t necessarily affect everyone at the same time. The people around you may or may not be affected by the same thoughts, feelings, emotions and energies as you are, in any given moment. But rest assured, they will be affected at some point in their lifetime.
It may bring you comfort to know that none of us is as alone as you may feel at a particular point in your life, when difficulty hits you personally. It’s really just your share of the pain of the human condition.
Some people’s pain is more physical—they are likely to get a bad back or arthritis. Others suffer more from emotional wounding—having a greater sensitivity to life and emotions than those around them seem to. For some the wounded aspect of the human condition manifests as mental anguish—too much thinking which can then lead to feelings of despair and darkness.
Obviously, there’s no better way to experience pain and it’s not like we’re given a choice. The problems of life actually lie within—though they seem to come from outside our self. The great news is that in the same way, the solution that you’re looking for is inside and not outside.
As many of us discover, the solutions we seek outside ourselves more often than not just lead to greater pain. Seeking comfort in food, alcohol, shopping, drugs or any other kind of addiction, only increases the pain and brings us back to square one, which is having to learn to contain our original wound.
That’s right, each of us is born with a wounded aspect BUT each of us is also born with a deep Divine connection.
Until we realize that, we tend to stay on the mental and emotional levels within ourselves, where we keep re-circulating and re-living the same painful emotions and life situations. The drama is in full gear when we are stuck in the chatter between the ears and the subsequent emotional activation.
The cure for all of this is your connection to the Divine within. You can literally travel within yourself, through your heart, and connect to a zone within that is full of spiritual light and awareness. On the emotional level, when you are connected to this Divine reality that is your Essence, you feel a “peace that surpasses all understanding.”
In this place, you can breathe in stillness and serenity, deeply. Your problems still exist but they seem different to you—much more manageable. You realize that nothing is as it appears and that you are reacting to much illusion. You feel a greater connection to the infinite and the eternal.
You are still in your mind, but now you are in your “right mind.” You are connected to your Higher Mind, which is the mind that fills all of Creation. You can begin to see things more Universally in this place.
So even though you don’t like the fact that you got passed over for the job you applied for, the second date never happened or you had to face the embarrassment of attending your class reunion overweight, you are connected to the fact that, though the stories may be different, every human being on the planet knows the feeling of hurt, jealousy, anger, sadness or frustration that you are experiencing in this moment.
You also connect to the understanding that this wound is only one piece of who you are. Beyond the wound is a more confident, wiser, grounded and centered you, who can respond to your life situation with intelligence and gratitude.
From this expanded standpoint, you can look at what is in your control to do. You can send compassion to the wound and expand your vision to determine other courses of action to help you move closer to living your life’s purpose.
By connecting to the Divine in your heart, you can begin to seek knowledge and understanding about what you can learn from the course of events that have transpired and where you are being asked to go from here.
You can ask yourself, “Can I contain all my thoughts and emotions without identifying with them?” “What else is true?” “Where am I being asked to go from here?” “What are the thoughts, words and actions that can elevate me to my highest destiny?” “Despite all the energies within and around me, how can I expand and shine my inner light, to create greater good for myself and those around me?” “Can I accept what is without judgment and simply be curious about all the greater good that is destined to come my way?”
Bow your head to your heart in gratitude for all that you have been given, some of it through hard work and some through grace, as well as for all the potential difficulties that never came your way.
Ask for the strength and humility to live your best life, to feel that gratitude and to let go of everything that needs to be released. Open your heart, consciously, through your decision to do so, and open to the unknown—the mystery of you—the boundlessness of life!
To Your Health & Happiness,
P.S. P.S. Isn’t it time to Stress Less, Fear Less and Weigh Less??!! Take a look at my fabulous interactive program to reprogram your subconscious mind and let go of limiting beliefs. It’s helped thousands and I know it can help you, too! Stress Less Weigh Less program
Rena Greenberg has had the privilege over the last 25+ years to work with over 100,000 people in 75 medical centers to help them lose weight without surgery.