Improving Relationships: How Do I Become Less Codependent


People like to think of themselves as independent individuals — but are we really?

Few people can say that their beliefs and opinions aren’t shaped by those around them. Sometimes, other people have such an influence on us that we often forget that we aren’t thinking for ourselves.

This is very common in codependent relationships where people lose sight of themselves and only see the world through the eyes of their partners.

Codependency is often defined as relationship addiction. Codependent individuals feel the need to remain in relationships no matter how toxic they may be. Instead of finding happiness themselves, such individuals constantly look to their partners for fulfillment.

Think you may be codependent? Try the following:

1. Get to know yourself

You can’t enjoy your own company if you don’t know yourself. Take some time out to self-reflect and learn what’s going on in your mind. Get into the habit of journaling every night (or whenever you want) to process all that’s going on in your head and around you.

Replay the interactions you had with people throughout the day and focus on what was said. Did you always mean what you said? What do you like best about certain people? What’s making you angry? Were you honest about your feelings today?

By asking yourself these questions, you’ll learn something new about yourself every day until you become fully aware of who you are as a person.

2. Spend time alone

It’s good to have people around you who you trust but sometimes, being alone is better. Being alone teaches you to be strong when times get bad and there’s no one around to help.

If you are someone who constantly feels the need to be around your partner, try scheduling activities to do by yourself. Go for a hike on the weekend or join a class of some kind where you’re challenging yourself.

3. Practice Soothing Yourself

Codependency often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety. To truly be independent, codependent individuals need to learn to soothe themselves to better manage their anxiety.

Managing anxiety is easier said than done for most people. If you’re struggling to get a grip on negative thoughts building up in your head, then consider seeking the help of a professional.

Rena Greenberg offers private hypnosis sessions during which she helps you delve into the depths of your own mind to replace negative learned behavior with positive thinking patterns to give your self-esteem a boost so you can improve your relationships.

Aside from private hypnosis sessions, she also offers useful self-hypnosis CDs and downloads.

About the Author RENA GREENBERG

Rena Greenberg has had the privilege over the last 25+ years to work with over 100,000 people in 75 medical centers to help them lose weight without surgery.

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