Do you ever feel that you are not good enough? “I only lost 10 lbs!” is an expression I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard. There is always an emphasis on the word ‘ONLY”. Why can’t we feel exuberant about our successes?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could shout out to the world, “I’ve lost 10 lbs!” with a tone of gratitude, joy and positive expectancy for more of the same (if more is needed), instead of hanging your head in shame?
How often do you forget to focus on your successes? Do you downright negate them as if they were inconsequential? Somehow we believe that if we keep raising the bar higher and down play what we have already accomplished, it will cause us to achieve more, faster.
But instead, the opposite is true. We end up feeling discouraged, as if nothing is good enough, and often these sentiments cause us to give up.
If you are unsure if that’s true, take some time to focus on your positive outcomes, instead of keeping the spotlight on your missteps. Yes, it’s good to review all of our actions in order to learn from them and to set higher standards for ourselves.
However, when we berate ourselves for every error, we are stifling our own ability to create something new. The reason why is by giving so much attention to the mistake, we are magnifying it’s impact and draining our own energy.
That’s right—we are draining our own energy.
As a biofeedback therapist, I have had the privilege of experiencing how our thoughts impact our physical body. When a client is hooked up to a biofeedback unit that measures the autonomic nervous system, we can see that when he focuses on something he feels good about, his brain wave frequency changes from Beta (thinking, worrying, strong emotional reactions) to the more relaxed, creative, slower, healing levels of Alpha and Theta.
We are made up of energy. When we are fretting, obsessing, judging and condemning (ourselves or anyone else) we are not in a creative, solution-oriented state of mind.
Rather, our attention becomes more and more narrow and our choices fewer and less creative. We may feel boxed in, trapped or constricted.
When we use the expression, “I feel drained,” it’s because we literally are drained of our vitality! All access to our own creative life force is blocked.
However, when we open our awareness, and go beyond the outcome of the “mistake” we have the opportunity to learn, grow and make positive changes. Our energy literally shifts. New possibilities and new opportunities present themselves to us.
It’s not easy to remove ourselves from the throes of despair when we feel let down either by ourselves or someone else. We can’t “get rid of” the feeling of emotional pain that we experience at that time.
Perhaps you are genuinely upset that in three months time, after the initial weight loss of 10 lbs, your weight doesn’t seem to be budging, despite your sincere efforts.
What I am suggesting is that you take time to send yourself compassion for the situation that you are in rather than make it worse by hammering yourself.
It can be very helpful to remind yourself that you are controlling what you do have control over (the foods that go into your mouth and how much activity you are doing), and that some things are not in your control (how fast the weight comes off).
If you were driving from New York to Los Angeles and got stuck in a huge traffic jam in Colorado, would you just give up and turn around?
Chances are you would take a deep breath and accept that the pace you are now going at is slower than the one you had anticipated, but all is still well.
Be aware of the inner voice that wants to convince you to just forget it—that it’s not possible, and instead, change your focus.
You can’t get rid of doubt, but you can focus on your successes to build your strength, courage and fortitude as you forge forward, believing in yourself and your ability to succeed.
Keep a journal of your accomplishments and review it frequently.
When you look at the successes, miracles, and angels that appear in your life, take in the fact that they far outweigh your so-called failures.
Success isn’t just dropping 10 lbs—it’s all the actions that led up to that result. Make sure to acknowledge yourself for all the healthy foods you have selected, all the junk food you’ve passed up, each time you moved your body instead of remaining dormant, every time you practiced self-hypnosis and all the steps you’ve taken to lift your vibration to a higher level with positive thought, affirmations and intention.
Success is your new way of thinking about yourself and your world. Success is keeping your mouth shut where you might have blurted something out or speaking up when it may have felt more comfortable and familiar to stay silent.
Success could be learning to smile when you feel like crying if you have been prone to emotional manipulation.
Conversely, if you tend to stuff your feelings, success may be allowing yourself to cry when in the past you would have put a fake smile on your face and then drowned your pain in a couple of vodka and tonics.
It’s feeling your feelings without necessarily acting on them impulsively. It’s connecting to your vast, wise self through self-hypnosis, inquiry or meditation and asking for guidance from that part of you that’s greater than your thoughts and feelings.
Ultimately success is accessing your deepest wisdom, strength and courage and taking right action, even in the face of disappointment and adversity.
Success is trusting yourself and trusting life and knowing in every cell of your body that you are exactly who you are supposed to be and you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
As Bette Midler reminds us so beautifully, “You are the seed that in the Spring becomes the Rose.”
Please reach out to me any time for support.
To Your Health & Happiness,
Rena Greenberg has had the privilege over the last 25+ years to work with over 100,000 people in 75 medical centers to help them lose weight without surgery.